Why am I so ?...........

God tell me the reason why I am like that...why things seem coming automatically and I don't like them as these are of without efforts, why it is like when I am going to put efforts on and they seem imperfect worth putting efforts. why am I always in seek of perfect things and don't see any, is it a reason me too not perfect or is there a reason I am wrong because its an era of like these things only...........I feel like I am dying each day. I feel like I am letting others go dying, I feel like helpless sometimes........